just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
