hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
