I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
soo... how was my night?
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