Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize