OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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