Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
