honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
