The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
