dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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