sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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