I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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