Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
