Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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