Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
