His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
