he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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