my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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