I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
