and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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