A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
