I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
