Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
