Kareoke will never be a sober sport
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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