I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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