I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
