How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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