I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
