Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
