Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
