hotel room ftw
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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