You smell like a Billy Joel song
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
