That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
