No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
