The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
