3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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