spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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