i barfeds in our rink
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
