4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You really coming over, don't trick.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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