No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize