You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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