Whod you bang
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
