And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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