North Korea, Best Korea!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We had sex on a dog bed..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
