Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
