Fuck appropriateness.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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