I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
