none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
