Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
