Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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