I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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