my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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