bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
