I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Alive.
So much puke
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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