He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize