you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just had sex on a roof
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
