turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
