I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Of course I have a pirate flag
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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