he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
do herpes really smell.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
