I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You were trust falling into bushes
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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