would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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