I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
