I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
