Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
