I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
