She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
