chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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