Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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