Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
