How'd it feel making her break her religion?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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